“Once the wine has flowed and our taste buds are singing its praises or ranting out their dissatisfaction, we will score every bottle of wine on the Wine Flows cork rating system below.”
1 wine cork = This wine should be reclassified as paint stripper.
2 wine corks = Wine vinegar. Should only be drizzled over a salad. Sparingly.
3 wine corks = Okay-ish. Ish. A just squeaks through wine.
4 wine corks = Acceptable wine that may be poured again.
5 wine corks = Bang in the middle. Good wine.
6 wine corks = This wine is going over to the good side. Like it. Very much.
7 wine corks = Starting to sing praises about the wine.
8 wine corks = Will buy and buy this wine again and again. Top stuff.
9 wine corks = Will shout the name of this wine from the rooftops.
10 wine corks = Orgasmic. But, like men, we’ll probably never find a bottle of wine that scores the perfect ten.